- The iddah for a widow is four lunar months and ten days. (Al-Baqarah: 234)
- If the widow is pregnant, her iddah ends upon childbirth, whichever comes first. For example, Sabi’ah, the wife of Saad bin Khaulah, gave birth 40 days after her husband’s martyrdom. The Prophet (PBUH) permitted her to remarry. (Bukhari: 4909)
- If divorce occurs before consummation, there is no iddah (Al-Ahzab: 49). However, if the husband dies before consummation, the widow observes an iddah of four months and ten days.
- A widow should observe iddah in her deceased husband's home. (Abu Dawood: 2300)
- In cases of necessity (e.g., safety concerns, lack of shelter, or financial issues), a woman may observe iddah at a secure location, such as with her son or brother. For instance, Jabir's aunt picked dates during her iddah, and the Prophet (PBUH) permitted it. (Sahih Muslim, Kitab al-Talaq)
- A woman can leave her house during the day for necessary tasks but should return home before nightfall. (Bayhaqi: 436/7)
- Mourning for a deceased husband lasts four months and ten days, while mourning for other relatives is limited to three days. (Sahih Bukhari: 5334)
- During mourning, a widow should not apply kohl (surma). (Bukhari: 5338)
- A widow cannot wear new colorful clothes during iddah but may wear light-colored cotton clothing. She should avoid perfume except after menstruation, when she may use a mild scent. (Bukhari: 5341)
- A widow cannot apply henna during iddah. (Abu Dawood: 2302)
- She should avoid combing her hair. (Nasai: 3564)
- Bathing is not prohibited during iddah.
- Old colorful clothes may be worn, but new colorful garments should be avoided.
- Jewelry and adornments should not be worn during iddah.
- Wailing, screaming, tearing clothes, or any other excessive mourning practices are not permitted.
- Crying or shedding tears is allowed.
- Marriage proposals cannot be made during iddah. (Some practices of encouraging marriage during iddah are influenced by misguided cultural or superstitious beliefs.)
- For a widow or a woman divorced thrice, marriage proposals can be hinted at indirectly but not stated explicitly. (Al-Baqarah: 235, Bukhari: 5134)
- For a woman divorced once or twice, marriage proposals are not allowed during iddah.
- Encourage widows to remarry after iddah and discourage practices like third-day, tenth-day, or annual death commemorations, as they are innovations (bid’ah) and not part of the Sunnah.
By Khaleel Ur Rahman Chishti, June 1, 2023 (12 Dhul Qa’dah 1444 AH)